guess wad happen todae?i fell down in sch.maybe u think nth big about tt.but i fell infront of a crowd ,who was watching kranji idol audition in e foryer.e sec 5 boys were like laughing at me lor.so paiseh.i stood up at once n pretended tt nth happened.so fake right,but bo bian la.hav to act normal mah.deep down,i was feelin like shit.e pain was simply killing me.wanna shout out,but cannot leh.then very pek chek.

e reason i fall was stupid lor.i tripped over a rope ,which i already saw.donno my eyes gt prob or wad.then my knee cap brushed against e rough stone floor.when i stood up,i quickly turn to felicia n began to tok to her.[still acting as if nth happened]aft several mins,i was still feelin tremendous pain."eh,u bleeding leh"fel said."wad e @#@&*" i yulped in my heart.

funny thing was,pq fogt to bring uniform.so she "volunteered" to go n "fix" my wound so tt she woudnt be caught by teacher.clever hor.fel used a alcohol cotton wool to clean.siao lor,i almost wanna kick my leg into her face,haha.i thought my misery would end.but pq used DETTOL CREAM to clean my wound again.i hold back my tears.its like salt rubbing wif chilli kind of feeling.one of my fren was hilarious lor.he thought i applied colgate onto e wound ,when he saw it.but actually it was e "nong" tt was flowing out.
[shermaine]

i still rmb e 1st dae we started sch this year.we had camp.n before i knew it,its goin to enter march already.SO FAST!!!haha.i guess it would be june really quick then dec in a blink of a eye.somehow,i look forward to cell advance.i want to spent time wif the family.i feel like i nt spending enuf time wif them.nowadays,i go home aft processing.haiz,i really miss e daes when we chat over dinner.so aweeeeeeesome.haha

i think i noe how to rely on god more .i seek his permission now.nt like before,when i would do things becuz i wan to.but now,i hope he can be a part of it.i sense my life is changing slowly,bit by bit.PATIENCE IS E KEY.don rush him.haha

Today was just another sunday that i've been looking forward to. haha. woke up at about 745 and went to jog 5km. was quite tiring cause havent been running for quite some time. then meet up with shermaine to go post-e. here comes the interesting part...

this question has been bothering me for quite awhile, and i try not to think about it, but it just pop out of nowhere again during service. i was once again, standing at a crossroad, thinking if i should continue to seek God, or to return to my old lifestyle. i seriously had thought of giving up, and return to what i was before i accepted christ. cause i've seen many christians backslided, i've seen many christians acting as though they were like those non-christians. i started doubt the mightiness of our Lord. if Hes really that great, that mighty, then why are there still so many people leaving Him, turning away from Him? why are there people who was once so committed, once all out to serve Him, backslided? when i was walking home with my mum last night, she brought up this issue again. she told me that the presence of God is just a matter of your own imagination. if you think that Hes there, then Hes there. if you think that Hes not there, then Hes not there. then she was asking why do i have to waste time going church every sunday. what she said really made me ponder. i really was on the verge of giving up...

but today's service really brought me back to the right path. im not sure if its my own imagination or isit God speaking to me, really dont know how to differentiate, but for what i know is, this voice really answer my question. the 'voice' was telling me that, the more people turn away from God and backslided, the more you should continue to walk this path with God and SHINE for Him. continue to pray for those people and trust Lord to bring them back. if you were to give up halfway, you are not glorifying God in any way. not only that, many hearts will be stumbled by your actions too. God will not be pleased. you are just showing to others that our God is not so mighty afterall.

that's all i have for you all today. hehe. =)
continue to SHINE for Jesus in every aspect of y0ur life. God Bless You.

[[fel]]

sch juz re open for like 2 daes n maths hmk is pilling up real fast!woo,i nid a break.but i guess i nid to gt used to it.aft all o lvl yeaR! haha..

i had a great time fooling billy todae.haha...he kinda "slow".we hid his pencil case in a box n he didnt realize.when it was time to go off.we told him we had a present for him in e box.he went to to open it up n YET he couldnt see e pencil case right infront of his eyes.he goes"wad ??? wad thing?"haha..his expression really funny lor.erm,maybe his eyes abit small la. kiddin..i always like to "attitude" or prank him ,cuz he will hav this weird facial expression.onli he does tt.simply hilarious.

actually,i thinking of having my conrows braids done during e new year..so cool.but too bad,didnt hav e time to go down n do it..cant wait for march holidae ,then i can hav my hair done.wooohoooooo..
[shermaine]

school again

well, its lesson again after a 4-day break.not really use to it. felt really bloated for the whole day due to over eating for the passed few days, i guess. wasnt really a good start for me. although i completed all my homework over the weekends, but i failed both my chemistry and maths tests. actually i quite predicted that i will cause i didnt really revise for both the tests, but still felt rather disappointed la.
was forced to borrow a storybook from the school library, so had no choice but to og there and search for ONE that is easy to read. but i so happen to come across this book that talks about a girl who is making a choice between obeying God and giving in to the desires of her flesh. i like a few of the sentnece in the book. "God is good all the time and that His love can sustain in the midst of adversity. give all your feelings of anxiety, despair, and stress to God. He can fix the tough stuff. For when y0u focus on Christ and possess a pure heart for Him, before you know it, He'll give you your heart's desire."
yesterday, when i was doing my quiet time, God reminded me that he misses me. i should stay focus on me no matter what's happening around me. after some thought, i think i havent been really focusing on God for the passed few weeks. should focus on Him!

[[fel]]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!second day of the CNY, and im already down with sore throat.=(
first day of the new year was great!really did alot of catching up with my relatives of both my mum and my dad sides.didnt attend service cause i have the reach my uncle's house early.initally,had not much things to do, so just sit down there and watch dvd.after that,whwn everybody had arrvied,the adults started to chat then i just sit down there and listen.wasnt really close with my cousins from my dad's side since young,so didnt talk to them at all.
around noon,left my uncle's house for my grandma's place[mum's side].was at my grandma's place till night time.play with my handsome cousin.he's really cute and cahrming.will post some photos that i took with him.heh.had steamboat,then spent the reat of the time with my cousins.then around 8 plus,went to my granduncle's house.didnt do much over there,just sit there and gossip with my cousins.left there around 10 plus,reach home at 11 plus, play cards with my sis and her boyfriend,then off to bed.haha.
second day.woke up at 12 in the noon.really tired.went to my aunt's house in the noon.didnt do much thing. just sit on the sofa and eat and eat and eat.at night, went to one of the restaurant at changi to have dinner.ordered a toal of 11 dishes.had 2 bowls of rice and a small bowl of noodles.was really full.think must have intensive exercise right after CNY.if not...=)
will be visiting houses again tomorrow.think will drop by shermaine's house if i can make it.going to play with her little bro.haha.once again,wish everyone will have a ahppy and blessed new year!

wah ,so freaky tired of cny.so BORING!!!every year also e same de.nth new.had reunion dinner on sat at my grandma's place wif my relatives .i reached there quite late.we were suppose to hav steamboat,but when i saw e food,no appetite.so i juz ate a few fish balls n a slice of abalone.tok crap wif my cousin,then my dad ended.

yesterdae was somehow like e "big"dae.cuz it was dae one.so i rise up real early n left for church.service was okay.didnt really catch much of e msg,cuz my heart wasnt there lor.somehow i was there ,for e sake of being there!muz be so disappointing in hearing tt huh.but ,i guess its spiritual low, n i think e cause is my devotional time isnt steady these few daes.feelin sucky bout it.followin service,i joined my family in their service n started to go bai nian,kickin off at my mum's side[grandpa house].sit infront of e tv for hrs... stupid rite.might as well stay at home to watch tv.then went to auntie house,then my ah ma house.

wah,sian like hell in my ah ma house.all e 'ra ra' goin on n i was like sittin in a room watchin tv AGAIN!dumb dumb dumb.dinner was off standard .haha...i really missed e times,when i spent my cny wif my cousins when we were still kids.we always enjoyed each other company.did everything together.for eg,eat dinner,also muz eat together.count e no.of ang pao we hav in e room.eat e festive cookies together.gossip about our relative looks/gf/bf etc...

even though this year,my cousin r still around.but our relationship hav grown cold.we r sittin right beside each other n yet we don tok.weird !haiz,once so close n now so cold.haiz.....

anyway,my cell comin to my house for house visitin...cross my fingers,they wont find anything unglam bout me!haha

[shermaine]

im back!!!

hi!im back after disappearing for almost 2 weeks due to some matters.haha.=)
didnt know what to blog about, but just want to say that many things had happened for the past two weeks.
valentine's day was just another normal day for me.receive chocs and more chocs from friends, and in return, i gave them chocs too.=)
this year's CNY celebration in our school was rather boring, not as nice as the passed years ones.but overall,wasnt that bad also.
having reunion dinner with my parents and sis tomorrow.going to seek their permission to pray for them before eating.hope they won't reject it.after that, going to watch movie together. its been about 10 years since the whole family watch a movie together.looking forward to it.=)
wish everyone a happy and blessed CNY.=)

[[fel]]

chinese new year is already here.shld be feeling e joy in celebrating.but this year,juz don hav e mood leh.somehow i feel empty.it seems to me like new year is juz another day.kinda tired of goin to e same old places to bai nian,seein e same old faces,indulge in silly chat .very typical,nth new or fresh.sick of it.if possible,i hope to spend all my holidae on catchin up wif my frenz,goin out wif them.

todae,my sch had e cny celebration.prety boring.very mongolian style lor.almost 70%,of show was by e mongolia ppl.they kept dancing n dancing n dancing.they even had these show dance.weird la.but can see my sch spent alot of effort on it.too bad,we didnt appreciate it.my gerfrenz n i were self entertaining lor.had a great time ,laughing at each other.wahahaha.we can be super dumb some times.

anyway,wish all of u a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

valentine episode!!

well,todae is valentine's day..a very happening day for me in sch.

aft my pe lesson,we gt back to e class,while waiting for mr lim,a drama happened.a guy in my class gave an expensive gift to one of my fren right infront of e whole class...e class started cheerin,giggling.my fren very stunned,can tell fr her face,she wanna dig a hole n hide.really very cliche,yet i nv thought e guy would hav e guts to do it.drama mama la.

my valentine was like any other dae lor.gt a few gitfs fr some gerfrenz.

actually i notice many students gettin "steady" todae.seriously,i find it ridiculous .they spend money on presents ,so tt they can impress e gers n win their hearts over.waste of $$ la.teens nowadays ,juz cant contain their emotions.i don think they r in love.guess its only a simple crush. they r lookin for companion more than a soulmate.haiz,saddening to see them waste their youth away juz like tt.

anyway,during recess.my class had a service learning project.we had to raise funds through selling red ribbons ,for e aids organization.through this project,i notice our class can work very well together.everyone had their own forte.those quieter ones,was gd at finding info on aids.those wif louder character were gd at publisizing n sellin .very touch to see my class workin together wif e same goal in mind. wahaha..4e tresaure every moment this yr,cuz its our last yr together.chiong ah

[shermaine]

i believe god is my very present help when i am in need!i had experience his help many times .i really want to thank him fr e bottom of my heart.sometimes,when we r in difficulties n we feel like shit.we seem to be in a dead end,wif no solution to e prob.panick n fear start to creep in.

but we forgt tt he can help,he is willing to help,if only u ask his for help.he will not force his help,love,mercy,forgivenss onto u.he will onli enter if u r willing to open e door.so confine in him.he will help n solve e prob for u.trust in him!u will be amazed by his power .e problem tt seem so impossible to solve,is actually possible for him.nth is too small or too big for him.he is our shelter,our strong tower.

however,we also always forgt to give thanks back to him.we tend to put him aside aft e prob is solved.we even tell ourselves,its a coincedence tt our prob is solved.i don believe in tt.if we didnt pray n e prob happen to be solved ,then its coincedence.BUT if we prayed ,n e prob is solved.its him who is helping us.don go to him only when u r in nid.he wants u to communicate wif him,even if u hav no difficulties in yr life.he is nt only a god,but a father.talk to him,my fellow brothers n sisters.he will listen .he will nv be tired of u.in fact,he misses us.its never too late.his a god of second chance..

[shermaine]

busy ,busy ,busy! sch is all nutty now.hmk n test all come together.but seriously,i still can take it.but juz nt used to coming home so late everydae.

i am very disturbed by others when they try to control me.ppl like i don really noe.they don hav authority over me.they r nt my parents,teachers,leaders or gd frenz.these ppl try to act as if they r someone impt to me n tell me wad to do.PLS STOP IT LA.really tolerating u liao.better stop before i flare up.i can do whatever tt deem fit before gods eys ok? even a simple msg,u also muz care.do u noe u going overboard.ppl if u ask me qn,n i don feel like answerin,can u juz stop pressin me.i will tell u if i wan to.if nid be,i might juz stop being yr fren.

feelin so much better aft lst nite santification,which was by ps eugene..e msg really spoke to me.
if u read my previous posts,i was feelin kinda down,n doubted god capability.so actually,i wasnt really communicating wif god.didnt do my daily devotion ,felt tt goin to church was startin to become a chore.also didnt noe y i felt tt way..

but ps eugene told us tt when our devotional time or quiet time is nt steady,then it would inevitably affect our walk wif god.our light will become dim.i think tts y i easily doubt god or feel spiritually down.so i commited myself to set aside a time for god everyday,to read e bible.however,many of us don like readin e bible,because its juz a book to us wif lots of text in it.smth like a manual.actually its nt,if u put it another way,its actually love letters fr god to us.its precious n confidantial.when we think tt way,i m sure we would wan to READ IT everynow n then.

e msg tt speaks to me most was,"god miss me".god use ps eugene to tell me ,he misses me alot.upon hearing tt,my heart ache,because i noe i let god down.i felt so foolish n regretted about doubting his presence.i forsake him,when i am down.yet,he waited for me faithfully.i really question myself,wad have i done to deserve this LOVE!

i am too focus on consolidatin others,helping others on their problems,addin oil to ppl's lamp.BUT i forgt e most impt thing, my walk wif god.i forgt tt i ,myself nid to walk wif god,nt juz others.he misses e time when i was closely bonding ,deepening wif him evry now n then, even though i wasnt helpin others at tt time.all he nids is my attention to be upon him n nth else matters.we no nid to be great pastors,superb cell leaders or even to hav disciples ,to make him love us.we try to do things to make him love us more.but his love for uS is always unconditional ,be it how lousy or gd we r.GOD MISSES US!let us all go back to him,reconcile e replationship .its never too late,as long as we go back to him..he is waitin,don procrastinate any longer.go forth n be wif him again.he will never despise u!!!

[shermaine]

what a week

well, this week hasnt been really great. alot of things have been happening. mostly bad things. got no idea how to handle all of it at one shot, but have to.
shall not say what exactly had happened, cause its kind of confidential, but i just want to tell you guys that no matter what happen, the good or the bad things, it just proves that God is at work.=)
ok, something happen today that really irritates me. im not sure if im in the wrong, but seriously, i dont feel that i have done the wrong thing. shall not elaborate on it, but will like to tel you guys that next time, if you are not happy with me, just come and tell me right at my face. dont ever give me that look,as if the whole world owe you something. at least tell me what have i done wrong, better than showing me that kind of attitude.
sorry if i sound really rude, i just want to tell you what i really thinks.
anchoring a prayer meet isnt that easy. felt really weird when all eyes are on me. but nevertheless, i made it!=)

so many things happened for e past few days.its really a roller coaster ride for me!if it persist on ,i don think i can take it..

now,i have so many questions for god,ever since things hasnt been goin right for me n ppl around me .
god,where r u?god ,y our prayers haven been answered?god,y doesnt miracles happen right away?god,r u watching over us?god,no more time left le,save more ppl now,before its too late!
god,can u speak loudly into our ears? god,i noe u gonna give us victory this year.but now that i am in e battle,it seem to me,it can NEVER be won !its so tormenting,so vigorous,so tiring,its taking away some of our joy!sometimes,i juz wanna give up!yet,u always remind me tt victory is near n i am a strong warrior for u!god,i nid assurance,i nid sercurity, i nid LONG LASTING HAPPINESS!

somehow,i start to doubt god n his capability.y do i always listen to e wrong voice,even though i noe i nid to listen to e holy spirit..haiz,tml die die muz go for sanctification week.i am sure god gonna recharged me..lookin forward to meeting HIM!!!!

[shermaine]