this is what my sister shermaine did for me. isnt is nice? although its just a simple piece of paper with few writtings on it, i still appreciate it alot. =) thansks sis. you are just so great!
family, im feeling much better now. need not worry for me already. hehe. i know where the problem lies on already. all thanks to shermaine again. =)
well, nothing big really happened this week, just that a few of my friends are having some problems in their lives. pray that they are ok.
that's all for today. maybe will blog again when i return for BN144 meeting. =)
once again, thanks family for supporting for the past few weeks. guess i wont be able to pull through all these without all your support. =)

well well well....finally its fridae.haha.but e weekend is gonna fly past AGAIN! so sick of it..gt lots of hmk.but i guess i gonna leave it till tml.lazy.

now,in a dilemma.can't make up my mind on cutting my hair.nt very sick of this hair yet,BUT nt very satisfied wif my hair too.thinking of cutting real short.erm,maybe over e ear tt type.haiz,see how first.maybe u could give me some suggestions.haha

anyway,these days,i gt to tok alot to one of my fren.he toks bout lots of stuff,like big philosophy sometimes.he loves to tok bout big topis like LIFE! then now whenever my frenz sees him,they would run .haha.but he did drive smth into my mind n now i keep asking myself,if i have life.cause he always saes "NO LIFE LA U".constantly reminded if i am living my life to e fullest,hope so.guess with god around,i think he will give me life.haha

[shermaine]

phewwww.. i managed to pull through these few daes,even though it was tough.i noe god was by my side all e while.thanks lord.

aft this incident,i learnt smth.maybe tts wad god taught me.n i think this lesson really woke me up..

i learnt to express my love to e ppl i love,as frequent as possible.i startin to tell my sister n bro tt i love them whenever i see them.haha..i guess i don wanna wait till its too late,n i start to regret y i didnt tell them i love them when i could.don wanna take them or anyone for granted..this short phrase"i love u" can actually brighten up tts person dae.may be easy for u to sae,but may mean a lot to e other party.

[shermaine]

i won e battle...finally!!!guess onli e cell noes wad i meant,because we won e battle TOGETHER!

i went for service on last sun,wif a total sucky mood.juz couldnt gt over it la.a blazing anger burning in me when i reached hall 9 n saw mummy n daddy..donno y la.didnt even wan them to come near me or tok to them.gave everyone e cold shoulder.cant control.i went infront for worship,hopin to hav spirit high,so that i will feel better.but as soon as e worship stopped,e joy was gone.it was shortlived.throughout e service,i had a rebellious heart.just don wan to receive anything fr e sermon.

processing time sucks.wanted to leave at once,but nid to celebrate esther bdae.so stay lor.then aft tt,bro brian came over n tok to us as e family settles down n listen,followed by caiyun.then suddenly god reminded me about youthcamp.my heart melted..e image of we[ky n dy cell]praying together in a circle,seeking for forgivness fr each other,crying ,hugging during one of e sessions during e youth camp last dec,was juz so filled wif love.god filled me wif love to e brim.god burnt away all e anger,hatred once again.

in e end,i shared wif e family about tt.everyone heart melted too.pray together again ,as a family,full of love.aweeeeeeeeeeeeesome.god is full of compassion .haha. this family is juz different fr e others,[nt saying yr cell nt gd la].i really love them.without them,i think i cannot go far.we will run this race together ,isnt it?

mummy n daddy,we will wait for u faithfully.jiayou.love u ........

[shermaine]

waking up today, not even realising that it was monday. can you see the reluctance of me having to go to school. but still drag myself out of bed.
i was mentally drain out. feel so heavy in the mind, but empty in the heart. trying hard to divert my own attention to other things, but still, i broke down once again today when one of my friend told me something. my life is kind of in a little mess right now. haiz.
i want to thank those who have encouraged me. your words have touched me, really, but i need sometime to digest those words. dont worry for me. i will be alright, i guess.

[[fel]]

so freakily hell tired!!!!!!! everyones lifes will hav their up n downs for sure.n now i am at my lowest pt.totally burnt out.am left wif onli a tiny winy bit of energy left.so weak liao,yet hav to continue wif our life.wad e crap.

yesterdae was somehow a nasty dae for me. if onli i could skip yesterdae....

i feel alone ,because of many things.i feel small,lousy,loser,selfish..all e negatives came attackin me yesterdae.my heart is heavy ..gt no more space liao,yet things juz come squeezing in.ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i really wanna shout out real loud .but i guess when i am weak,he is strong..

i forsee alot of battles coming along my way,which i hav to whacked it through.donno how am i gonna do it."haha".

got so much to sae,yet i seem to hav lost e ability to express myself.

[shermaine]

guess wad,todae,i went home alone again! cause e rest had prelim oral n onli my n peiqi was next wk.pei qi couldnt accmpany me ,cuz she had to go checkup.so on my way home,gave mummy a cal n we decided to meet at lot one.waited for her bout half an hr.didnt wan to waste time,so went to NLB to borrow 3 books..one of e book was e one i mentioned ,written by steph.haha.haven start reading,but i bet it would another great book.read a few chpt of e other 2 book.its BORING!gonna return it tml.oh ya,had hongkong toast wif mummy at e hk cafe,then headed home.

watch bai fen bai hosted by xiao zhu n xiao gui.i think e show is gttin worser by daes.no more superb jokes.haiz.so in e end,i switch it off n went to hang around mummy.haha..i realize nowadays,my mum likes to tok to me alot.she loves me,cuz i would always listen to her patiently n most importantly,crap along wif her.haha.lame ,but i think tt helps to bring us closer.

did some hmk juz now n now bloggin.

well,my class n i would be heading for parliment house[hope i spelt it right]..we would there for e whole afternoon.waste of time.but prayin tt i can use tt time to tok to some of my brother.hehe..

i wanna gt out of my room n go watch tv ,but my parents havin bible study wif their church mates in e living room.sian sian sian...guess i hav to wait till they leave,which is like 11.

[shermaine]

havent been feeling really great for this whole week. think i really need sometime to really get over the problem im facing now. trying to keep myself busy to stop me from thinking about the problem again.
things just doesnt seem really right for this whole week. i dont know what's wrong, but i kept having a feeling that something's going happen.
overall, this week has not been great for me at all.

woooooooooo.todae i was didnt had any ip coaching ,so i could leave immdiately aft dimmisal,but e rest of my bro n sis had to stay in sch for their ip coaching.sian,had to go home myself.but shiok ,bcuz long time nv gt home before3.30 liao.super shiok ah.sch was pretty cool todae.no prob.hope all my daes in sch can be like tt.nt so much stress.hehe..guess its impossible.

now i am waiting for felicia to return me e book which i borrowed fr e library yesterdae.wanna quickly return it n borrow e next series.cant wait to gt my hands on book 3 ,by steph.

suddenly,i hav a craving for ice cream on waffle.cuz my teacher tok bout it yesterdae.its been a decade since i last ate ice cream on hot piping waffle.argh,saliva kept drippin while typin this.haha.kiddin la.can u imagine e aroma of e waffle wafting through e air,simply heavenly ,isnt it?if u also hav e same craving.let me noe n maybe we could go together.haha

[shermaine]

holiday over ,now backed to sch.i spent most of my time on g12 conference.awesome .i love ps claudiea[donno spelled correctly].i acknowledge she is a strong instrument of god.e words tt come out fr her mouth juz make me stand in awe of god.i donno how to explain y,but i sure am convicted by her or in another way e holy spirit tt its my turn! its my turn to venture out into this world for god.to capture e lost souls for him.nt kaiyun ,nt any of my sisters ,nt anyone else,but mine turn!!! i give thanks unto e lord ,for showing me that light.n bestowing me e confidence.

recently,i have finished 2 books by stephanie perry moore.i think youths out there shld go read it.it really speaks to me . e story is bout this girl,whose father is a pastor.she has a boyfren,she has been goin out wif for 2 years.she had a hard time fightin wif her spirit n flesh when she was wif this guy.e typical desires of youngsters nowadays.yet she overcame it ,by god grace.this book really showed how to surrender my life to god.aft readin this book,i stood even firmer to keep a convenant wif god.i want god to choose for me,nt me.because i noe he always has e best for me.thanks jesus.love ya.

[shermaine]

hi everyone!its been a rather long time since i last blogged.heh.was away for G12 conference since thurs.the conference just ended.had a deeper knowledge of what G12 means after this conference.but am super tired now.shall blog about the details next time.=)havent complete my homework!how?!

[[fel]]

i started my dae at 6+++..woke up n quickly gt ready for sch.had physic lesson at 8,class was combined wif fel class.e lesson was awesome la.cuz gt lots of laughter.wei shen fr fel class was late,then he sneak in,tip toe to his seat,thinking tt no one had notice.but i DID! I WAS WATCHING HIM ALL E WHILE.hahaha.he tried to jump over e seat,n was stucked.i laughed or put in another way,i "roared "wif laughter.e whole class turned back n looked at him. hahaha.his leg was"splited" on either side of e bench.super funny lor.e whole class began to laugh like siao,esp me...haha.he paiseh,till wanna die lor.{sry wei shen}

aft tt,we had bio .teacher showed us some gross pic..pic who contracted aids pic.er xin sia....she showed us quite a bit.but i onli caught a glimpse of one pic n yelled in disgust.e rest i didnt see,if nt i will vomit .haha.some ppl lost their appetite aft they saw e pic.i skipped history lesson.didnt wan to go la.so i went home.

tml hav lesson again.guess when i see wei shen tml,i will laugh at hime again.n he will scold em "crazy"..

havin shrap pains on my lower back for e past 2 daes.donno y either.hope its nt prolonged pain.

[shermaine]

its beeen so many daes ,since i last blogged.anyway,rachel n gang-we no longer angry le la.wadever it is,still friends i guess.can see u all really treasure this friendship.thanks la..

recetly,my uncle is diagnosed wif cancer on last tue.he has 2 tumours in his stomach,growing for 2 years le.one of them is actually 15 cm by 8 cm big.scary eh.whole world came crashing down for my uncle.he was recently baptize n this hit his faith kinda hard.hiaz..sad la.because of this,i lost faith too.haha.weird.

i cursed ,gt angry..indirectly blame god la.this really showed how much i love god.how "strong" i was for god.guess i failed e test .donno wad to do either.seriously,i still donno y god allowed cancer to fall upon my uncle..although i praY for my uncle,but somehow,i still feel lost n gt this insecurity in me.no clue to tt lor.haha..

not really excited for g12 conference or anything.maybe my heart is quite hardened .nid e holy spirit to work mightly during e conference.well,shall end here.nth exciting for e past week.

[shermaine]

Well, was rather angry/upset over some stuff, but shall not say what it is. i think i should surrender this 'thing' to God as i really has got no idea what to do already.

Went for my first ever Youth144 meeting today. this meeting was much more of sharing testimonies rather than words. today, ps adrian shared with us some of his childhood stories etc. the thing that impacted me the most for this meeting is, we people are always doing things to please the crowd and be accepted by the crowd, but have we ever wonder how long will this pleasure last? i finally realise that only when we do things to please the Lord and glorify Him, then we will have eternal joy.

well, shermaine, didnt have the chance to tell y0u this, i really thank God for you. Christ brings the both of us together, and you are someone whom i look always look up to. you are also the one whom brings me to know this mighty God and Father of ours. thanks for always praying for me. i know the devil will always find chance to destroy our relationship, but no worries right?=)sister, you are just so great.

[[fel]]

wah,some ppl r juz dumb lor.todae had chinese ip coaching,held in e ava room.e weather was already very humid,yet e ava room's aircon was spoilt.it was an enclosed room.so my fren n i quickly dash into e room n book e best seats[last row,cuz gt one fan].

my fren n i were sweating like hell,but we were lucky enuf to hav one of e fanz[whole room onli gt 2 fan].then a grp of gers came in n very hao yi si, move e fan towards them sneakily,thinking tt we wouldnt notice.really very guo fen lor.at least tell us 1st la. they move till e fan blew at almost all of them.then on our side,onli 1 of us had e wind. wad e hell la.we asked them to move to us a little bit more.guess wad she did? she tried to act dumb n used her fingers to touch e fan ,pretending to shift it towards us.e most infuriating was ,a guy accidentally knock e fan.e fan shifted like less than 5 cm,n one of them started to shout"eh,,e fan moved leh,quickly ,move it back!!!"super piss off by her.e fan is already on their side le lor,tt 5cm she also wan.. so hot,take off yr clothes la.nv been blown by a fan ah.carry it home la.or u nid us to buy u guys a fan. this is nt e way to treat yr fren la.come on.

[shermaine]

1st encounter wif a tremor

wow,todae is my 1st time encountering wif a tremor.somemore i felt it twice ina day!!
was doin my chinese common test at 11+,nearing 12.suddenly,i felt as if my body n my head experiencing a spinning feeling.weird.but i put it aside,thinkin tt it was e my fren shaking my chair fr e back.continued to do my paper.e shaking or "spinning" went on for bout 10++ sec.still thinking it was nth much,didnt bothered bout it n proceed wif my paper.until one of my fren shouted"teacher ,i feel very giddy leh.buai tahan .do u feel it ?"
"yayayayayyayayaya,u feel it too ah?earthquake ,wads happening?we goin to die?"everyone bursted out wif anxiety ,questioning each other,wif thousands of questions racing through our minds.e tremor lasted for a min or so.

when e tremor was happening,e 1st thought tt came into my mind was e victims .thoughts of children,babies,old folks losing their love ones.within a few mins,they had become homeless,widows,orphans.i prayed for them.for god's mercy to be upon them.suddenly,felt so sad n sorry for them!!before i could gt over it,e 2nd tremor happen when i was doin my maths common test.wah,shock lor.thought it would be all over.didnt guess tt a second one would happened..more ppl losing their lifes.lots of families r broken.

todae i really thank god tt i live in singapore.there r no earthquakes or natural disasters.i came to realize i hav always taken it for granted tt singapore do not hav natural disasters.so bro n sis,pls give thanks to god tt we live here.pls also pray for those indonesians.put yrself in their shoes.n u will realize how lucky u r.e least u can do for 'em is to pray!

[shermaine]

4th of march was simply aweeeesome!

last sundae went for service..aft processing,i asked my sisters for help on my maths hmk.they gd la,teach me slowly till i understand.waited for alvin to go home together,since e rest[those who stayed at e weat side] had left.we then decided to hav dinner beofre returing home.when e train stopped st city hall,"u wanna alight here nt,eat here ?"alvin questioned.i brushed him off immediately.thinking tt e west side will also hav food to eat.we started discussin where to eat n stuff.then we come to a conclusion tt e west side has nth much.so bo bian,alighted at donno wad station[forgt laio] n travel back to city hall.lame hor.we walked towards city link tt side.passed new york new york,a hong kong cafe n thai express.but still,we cannot decide wad to hav for dinner.we very indecisive la.stopped n think,"ah ha,marina hav yoshi"i exclaimed."okok,lets go there"he agreed.
so we walked over n went to marina square to hav yoshi.did a lot of catching up.didnt tok to him for quite a long while liao. kept laughing at one another.shared on some private stuff.but in e midst of laughter,his da dao li did knock some sense into me la.thank him for spending time wif me la.time really flies,when we r together .god blessed me wif a great da ge.

oh ya,before i forgets,he dance jin wu men for me in marina square.i laughed till wanna burst!he also laughed at himself for being so silly.ai yo,funny la.u all shld witness tt "spectacular "moment for yrself.amazing..

[shermaine]

I love my grandma! well, i know its quite random, but i just want to share with you guys how much i treasure this grandma of mine.=)

she took care of me since i was a toddler. i spent most of my childhood time with her. she loves me alot, whatever i asked for, she will give. but as time goes by, when i moved into my new house and stopped going to her house after school, i only got to see her like once a week. i seldom talked much to her since then. whenever i go her house, i would either be sleeping, watching tv or play with my cousins. i would not sit down there and chat with her like i used to. but this doesnt change the love she has for me. she would, still, cook the food that i like, always wanting to know how have i been doing and all.

on friday, she called and asked us to go down on saturday cause she will be preparing dinner. i was super reluctant cause i already has got plan on saturday. i told my mum i dont want to go and its not important at all cause i would be able to see her some time next week again, but my mum insisted that i must go, so i have got no choice but to turn up. i didnt do much, just lay on the sofa, watch tv, sleep. didnt had any dinner also cause stomach still feeling very bad.

when i was lying on the sofa, my grandma suddenly came and asked me when my birthday is, and i was like its over already. then our conversation continued, she kept asking, i just answer. i cant believe that she actually remembers when my birthday is, thats quite amazing. i never thought she would. i was rather touch at that point of time. before i left her house, she gave me $50 and asked me to go and get whatever i like. i almost teared.

although she is consider as very rich, but she can keep that $50 to herself, as she loves to go travelling with her bunch of friends. she dont have to give it to me, cause she dont owe me a thing at all. i cant imagine i actually took this grandma of mine for granted. i dont know what will happen if she were to leave me one day.

she loves me to an extent that after knowing i accept christ, she never persecute me nor did she scolded me, considering that she herself is a buddhist. she respected my choice. i really love her.

[[fel]]

what a week i had. fell sick 2 times in a week. the first time was on monday. it wasnt really that bad. just slight fever. thats all. the second time was yesterday. this time round, it almost killed me. kept throwing up, fever and diarrhoe. all come at one go. havent been feeling so sick for quite some time. didnt really rest well at all. keep visiting the toilet. whatever i eat, it will all end up in the toilet bowl. tried taking medicine also, but not more than 10 minutes, all end up in the toilet bowl again. feeling so weak now.=(

[[fel]]